Funny Quotes

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
- Ellen DeGeneres

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
- Ellen DeGeneres

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres